Friday, June 17, 2011

I Thought It Was Friday Like 4 Days Ago...?

This week has seriously flown by! On Monday, I thought it was later in the week than it was, but then I remembered "Oh yeah, I'm still 4 days away from pay day..." Now that Friday is finally here, I really just want it to be tomorrow night. I'm getting excited to go home for my sissy's 19th birthday! Actually, I'm more excited to give her the gift(s) I bought for her. I'm one of those people that--although I really do enjoy receiving gifts--loves giving gifts. The feeling of giving the "perfect" gift to me is just so great. The joy that it brings to another person, the smile that appears on their face, the first time they actually use the gift and think back to you. That's what I love about gift-giving. Granted, I spent a bit more than I intended to on my sister, but she's worth it :) And I would feel bad getting her just one small thing, even though I'm very tightly budgeted right now. Can't wait to see her & my momma!
Just a cake I made for sissy's bday 5(?) years ago!
Seems like it's the weekend to get away--Kevin is out of town this weekend (duh, Father's Day is kinda important), so I'm on my own for training. I don't mind though--it's just today and tomorrow that I have to get through. Oh wait, and Monday since I'll be coming back Tuesday afternoon. Kevin was kind enough to get me in for a workout yesterday before I had to go into work and test my strength by redesigning the windows in Loft. It involved a LOT of ladder climbing, hanging crepe paper balls, and balancing. If you stop by a Loft anytime soon, admire the sale windows please--that's what I had to do. My managers keep telling me they put me on visual shifts to do windows because I'm the only one strong enough (as in experienced enough) to do it, but I think what they really mean to say is that I really am the only one strong enough to do it! Or so I tell myself...
Our windows look eerily similar to this...
Okay, getting off topic--back to yesterday's workout. It was a back day. It was also the first time in a LONG time that I did pull-ups. Assisted (by Kev) of course. Toward the end of my workout, I really wanted to cry. I got frustrated at one point and said "I can't do anymore, I'm going to drop it." Kevin didn't take that as an answer, so I finished the 2 reps I had left. There are definitely moments when I think he's just trying to torture me (not really), but at the end of the day, I really can't complain. He's there to spot me, to make sure I don't hurt myself, and most of all to make sure I'm pushing myself hard enough. Why would I want him to accept my "can't's" and "don't want to's"? How is that going to make me stand out on stage? It won't. So though sometimes I want to just throw the weight down and walk out or shed a tear just out of frustration and move on, I don't. I hold it together grimace a little and finish my set. Besides, what kind of person would I be if I didn't live by my blog name? It is Just Another Rep anyway--it's not gonna kill me.
Because we all know I'm this badass, right?

Going through the gloomy, miserable day today, my body has been feeling more and more sore/tired from yesterday's workout. And I can't help it, but my mood is definitely matching the grey skies outside. I was on the phone with my mom yesterday (for a hot second when I was at work), and she told me she got a phone call from my Aunt Carolyn earlier. Well, let's just say my family is not Carolyn's favorite. I should have known that it was going to be bad news when my mom said she called. And it was. Turns out my grandma's health is degrading--her lips are turning blue and she is one of those people who doesn't go to the doctor unless it's really really serious. Her birthday is on the Fourth of July, so I'll be taking some time off work to head up there with my family and celebrate another year older with her.

But the circumstances are just so unfortunate. My mom mentioned visiting grandma for "what could be the last time" and although I held it together on the phone--I think I was in shock--I got rather emotional afterward. Good thing I saved my tears when I was at the gym--there's no use in crying over silly things like a hard workout when there are more important things to cry over. I've found myself thinking about it at the most random times and it's really hard not to get upset. My grandpa, her husband, died when I was in middle school, so it was a bit too early on in my life to really get emotional. My dad's parents passed away over the past few years, but we aren't really close with his side of the family, and I'd only met them a handful of times, so it wasn't a huge deal to me. But not only is my grandma the last of my grandparents that's living, but she's also the closest to me. I'm hoping and praying that it's not that bad. I don't want to tell myself otherwise.
Summer 2007--Me & My Granny
Another heavy post. Sorry folks. I should really call my mom right now--it's the last day of school for her, and apparently her students this year were terrible, so I should really congratulate her for getting through it. And try to keep my mind off other topics.


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