Monday, August 6, 2012

New Priorities

Now that my life is coming together, I've had some time to think about where I really want to go from here. Do I want to rebuild? That means that I have to have had some sort of prior foundation that I want to fix. In all honestly, I think I want to take this opportunity as a new adventure, a new start to an old self.

If you recall (if you either know me in person or have been reading my blog for so long), last August/September I started a job with a company that just didn't work out. It wasn't mutual--it was my decision. It wasn't the right fit for me, even though they thought I was doing a great job. I just didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything. Now I know what led me to that ill-fated career. I wanted a job. I wanted any job. It just so happened to be related to my college field of study, but was I really that passionate about it? No.

I now have a second chance. A chance to do something that I wanted for myself. Not just a job because it was related to my college major, but something that I've wanted to do for so long now. So with my move back to Charlottesville coming in the next couple of weeks, I am ready to reassess.

What it comes down to is this: I don't want to be perfect under different circumstances. I don't always want to be waiting for the right timing or hopeful that things will change and fall into place. I want to always be perfect--my idea of perfection, not someone else's definition of it.

I'm tired of being a liability. I felt that way all last year. I felt like I was a negative opportunity cost. I was stagnant, and even through trial and error, I could not change that. I want to live actively, not passively. I'm going to take charge rather than letting time pass me by and assuming that waiting is the name of the game. Whomever said patience is a virtue was wrong--you don't get anywhere by waiting around. I know this, because I have lived this.

With my impending move to Charlottesville, I want to be my number one priority. This comes in numerous forms:

  • I want to be a better daughter. There was a time my mother and I were super close. These past several weeks have tested that, but I always love her. We just work better apart. I used to think we are too different, but really we are too similar. Similar in personality/quirks, different in interests.
Mom's visit to Cville, Spring 2010
  • I want to be a great friend. There were a few friends that I neglected toward the end of my time in Charlottesville. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, and because of this, I want to strengthen the bonds that I have there. I want to be there for the important life events. I want to enjoy the time I spend with these people.
My "Stepmom" Toni, my biggest motivator
My "Big Sister" Stacy, my greatest supporter
The Crew, from back in the day: Celia, Jeff, Madelyn, Cijlvere
  • I want to achieve my goals. I still want to do a bikini competition. Don't know when, but why just stop dreaming? It's going to happen.
  • I want to meet new people/go on new adventures. Okay so this is bound to happen one way or another, but I think it's about time I finally joined my friends' Cville Social football league. Amongst other things.
Bonfire with the sister and Amanda

I'm ready for these changes, and I'm not just sitting around hoping they will happen. Call me proactive, but I'm going for it, and I am my first priority.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

"That's the Spirit" Thursday

Generally, now is the time that I apologize for my week-long absence in blogging. Well, I really can't say that I'm sorry this time around. Don't get me wrong, I love the support I've been given by my blogging community, but I've been hella crazy with a top secret mission. Okay, maybe not so top secret, although I've been keeping it under wraps until now. Although the "mission" part still stands correct--I have been on a mission to create the good in my life. No more waiting around for good things to happen.

Remember when I started that Part 1 post of my trip to Philly then Charlottesville then Alexandria then Dc then back home (insert gasp for breath here)?? Well, I'm now ready and willing to explain Part 2 to you. Part 2 included the drive from Philly to Charlottesville, a run with the Partner in Crime, a day of fun activities including a surprise visit to the old stomping grounds (Loft) and lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants (Beer Run), and then an evening drive up to Alexandria. I suppose I definitely had ulterior motives for my trip to Alexandria. Once there, I stayed with the lovely Kait, another of the bridesmaids in Katie's upcoming October wedding. Such a gracious host! Her boyfriend cooked us a delicious dinner while we kicked back with a glass of wine, some television viewing, some bachelorette party planning, and some company research.

Company research, you ask? Well folks, here comes the ulterior motive. What sent me up north to Alexandria/DC was an excellent opportunity to interview with a successful Fortune 500 biopharmaceutical company. I guess it was technically a second interview, since I passed the phone screening a few weeks prior. So a quick weekend trip to Philly turned into an extended weekend with some welcome extra pitstops and ended with me driving back to VB in the rain, scratching my head in confusion. Had the interview went well? I'd never had an interview quite like that. I'd be highly surprised if I made it to the next round. Was I too honest? Too unprepared for those types of questions? Why did I feel like I was defending my educational background and all my life choices?

The questions came to a quick stop the next day--I received, via email, an invitation to undergo a background verification process. What did this mean? Was this good news? Do they do this for everyone? How do I calm down?? Skip forward a week and I got my answer--I was one of two final candidates! Out of numerous candidates, they thought I was good enough to be in the top 2? Was the interview a test? I think it was a test. Did they mean to call someone else? I have to fly to Charlotte? How do I get to Charlotte? I've never been to Charlotte!

I never said not to peg me for an over-analyzer, by the way. This is just a fraction of the thoughts that went through my head, including: I should probably get a manicure so I don't have nasty CrossFit man hands. I should get a new dress shirt just in case the District Manager is there and he recognizes the shirt I wore for my initial face-to-face. Did I research enough? Do I have competition? Should I get my hair trimmed or blown out so I look more professional? Do I trust any hairstylist down here with my hair?? Yeah--a mani, a new shirt, some additional research, and NO new hairstyle later, and I was on my way to Charlotte this Monday. Leave it to me to forget to capture photographic evidence.

Although, during that week prior, I learned what not to do with your iphone--aka do not leave it in your car during your hour-long CrossFit class.
Never seen that before! Lesson learned.

But yes, back to Charlotte--what a day! I spent several hours waiting in the airport, less than 4 hours on the plane, less than 3 hours in the air, and only 1 hour interviewing. I felt inadequate compared to my competition that I had met minutes before the interview started. But I knew that either way, I would know by the end of this week.

I'm sure by now, you are all getting a bit tired of this story. I promise it is almost over! Now, at work, we are really not supposed to have our phones on us, especially given that I'm part of the management team and therefore need to set the example. I figured this week was an exception. Please explain to me, though, how I missed THE phone call when my phone was in my back pocket on vibrate?! Has my butt grown that much? Regardless, the voicemail was vague and left me confused. I called back knowing that I wouldn't hear back for an hour, as they were in interviews from 3:30-4:30. You better believe that as soon as that phone rang, I sprinted to the back. And when I heard the phrase, "Do you have a few minutes to talk?" I responded with an enthusiastic, "Yes, definitely!" expecting the worst.

After a eternity-long pause half-second pause, my interviewer, such a friendly guy, told me the news... THEY WERE EXTENDING ME AN OFFER!!! You have no idea how beyond ecstatic I was! I was beginning to doubt whether or not I would be able to leave VB. I was beginning to doubt whether or not I would be able to leave retail. I couldn't fathom what the next year would be like if I didn't get this position. Color me pleasantly surprised! Of course, I was useless at work for the last hour of my shift, texting away and letting Facebook in on the news.

In my anticipation of hearing back, I had told my mom that we would go try out a new local restaurant, FireBrew, to which I had a Groupon, when I got the job. So that's just what we did. I think we have a new favorite! (Self-service) wine station, open-flame cooking, and a great atmosphere!
My Ahi Tuna entree.
Mom's Flat Iron Steak entree.
Thanks to all who have supported me and believed in me more than I did myself these past few weeks! And especially those who have had to deal with my NUMEROUS tears and whining and general unpleasantries. I owe you all more than you know!