Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Weights Over Dates

You may have noticed that in the duration of my blog, I rarely mention dating. Yes, there's a reason for that. No, it's not necessarily just to keep details intimate about my private life. For me, dating and prep do not mix. I've tried. I've wanted it to work out on some occasions. But at the end of the day, I prefer weights over dates.

Weights aren't confusing. Weights don't leave you wondering if you've captured and held their attention. Dates do.
Google search has done it again. Must have this!
In my experience, it's just as the saying goes: If you can't handle me when I'm bulking, you don't deserve me when I'm cut.

Let me reference a few distinct types of guys when it comes to attempting to date during prep.

Exhibit A. The Aware Guy Who Loses Attention Because You've Become a "Buzzkill"
This is the guy who you know prior to starting prep. The guy that you've told your intentions to and is intrigued by the fact that you're going to start to lean out and look banging in a bikini. Excuse my blatant language. But will he stick around?
The pros: You've clearly caught his attention...at first. He likes seeing the progress you're making. He keeps in touch, but it's shallow conversation at best.
The cons: This dude is clearly in it just for appearances. He wants a free ride on your success and wants to be linked to someone who has the dedication, determination, and drive that you do. When it comes to something more substantial, he's not there at all. He will eventually lose interest when he realizes you will not forego the gym for drinks, and you are not full of stories of drunken debauchery. By the end, the only thing that appeals to him is that you are now a lightweight and therefore a cheap drunk.
Too funny not to share!
 Exhibit B. The Before and After Guy
Aka the now and later. Very similar to Exhibit A, this guy seems interested as you're entering prep. He's intrigued by the transformation that's about to occur. He sees you as a caterpillar, but he has no intentions of waiting around while you're cocooning away in the gym. But once you become that butterfly and spread your wings on stage, he's sure as hell blowing up your phone. Next!
What about the during, mister?!
Exhibit C. The Ignoramous
This is the guy that just. doesn't. get. it. Not only does he not understand what you are training for, but doesn't understand why you're not a cardio bunny. This type of male does all he can to "put you in your place" as a female. Really, aside from the first date, there is no reason to even consider Date #2. Unless you don't even mention your training regimen to him during Date #1. Be ready for this jerk to mask insults as "teasing." Toss him like you toss those 45-lb plates around!
No, not every girl does Zumba.
Exhibit D. The Enabler
Much like the ignoramous, this guy just doesn't get it. Diet that is. He doesn't understand that the workout is only 20% of the battle and nutrition is the other 80%. Go out on a date with him, and he will order you a drink the moment you step away from the table. He will constantly suggest, "One bite won't hurt..." Umm, I'd like to see you up on stage in a bikini that cost $10 per square INCH in X amount of weeks! Oh wait, I'd rather not see that... Forget I suggested that--terrible mental picture. Ew, ew, ewwww!
Just think--if this guy is already weighing in on what is "good" for you, that spells trouble down the road.
Exhibit D. The Gymrat/Bodybuilder/Soulmate(?)
With this guy...it could go either way. Honestly, this is your best chance at successful dating, but make a wrong move and things could go awry. Especially if you co-gymitate (aka you frequent the same gym). You like your gym right? So does he. Who gets dibs after the breakup??
The pros: This guy gets it. He gets all of it. He will take either one of two approaches--a. he becomes your new spotter. That workout rut you were in? Kicked! All thanks to this guy. Or b. he does his thing and he lets you do your thing. You walk in the gym together and you walk out together. Everything else is on your own.
The cons: Be careful because if this guy is too much of a gym rat, then he will try to outshine you every chance he gets. You PRed by 5-lbs for your 1 rep max? Well he PR-ed by 10. You got a new blister on your palm? He just tore 3. The good news is that if this guy does fall into this category, you can kick his ass into shape and he can handle it.

So there you have it folks, several reasons why I've tried staying out of the dating game during prep. Now, I'm not saying that I've dated all these characters, but I do hear stories. And I was inspired by some people I know that would fit the bill as any of these exhibits. Let's just say it's just not worth it. Not until I bring home some metal. Competition prep is already a physical, mental, and sometimes emotional battle. There's no need to add more to the mind games. If you're in a relationship, that's awesome! I hope am sure that your beau supports you 100-fold. But if you're a single gal like myself, embrace it. Rock that stage for yourself and no one else! And keep this in mind--there may be some single bodybuilders backstage on competition day! I kid.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! You are SO FUNNY!!!

    I will say that being in prep was a difficult time in my relationship (we were engaged during my last prep, and dating in my first prep), however, if this can be coordinated... it can work rather well! We chose my show together, and planned it so he could take on a lot more of my chores so I'd have more time to train.

    Just like any relationship, its so important to communicate... but I think some prefacing is important as well. I got (and still do get this way) VERY bitchy when my blood sugar was too low... so I'd walk in the door and tell him right away "I'm really (insert issue: hungry, tired, PMS'ing), so don't take my attitude personal."

    And in the end, when I had competed, it was a personal victory for both of us. Just goes to show that the man you end up with, will want your goals for you as much as you do. :)