Now, I'm one of those girls that did a bit of acting in elementary and middle school, and for a few summers, my aunt paid for my sister and I to attend an acting camp for 2 weeks. Even with that "experience" I still find myself at a loss for words while I'm practicing in front of the green screen and scrambling to fill unnatural pauses. It's a lot harder than it looks folks! Recently, I've taken a more laid back approach. The meteorologist I'm interning through has me sit in front of the computer with the show I've created rather than get up in front of the green screen, in hopes that it's partially nerves holding me back.
Well, yesterday I get part way through the show I've created and I realize: a. I have a lot of excess slides in there that are just redundant and what I thought flows well really doesn't, and b. I'm still struggling! At some point in time, one of the teleprompter technicians came into the room and was listening. He has a radio show and creates podcasts, so I shouldn't be surprised what happened next. He made a comment about how it wasn't bad, and feeling like a failure, I disagreed. Something was said, and next thing I know, there's the whole "It's not as easy as it looks. You try it." And he did. And he breezed through it. And just like that, I turned into that little kid whose brother got more ice cream than her. I'm not proud, but I may have pouted a bit. It's just frustrating! I don't care if he's been doing radio for years, I still felt terrible compared to him. I don't like
So naturally, I went to the gym to get in my workout as I left the station, with the sting of this guys crazy good attempt at forecasting fresh on my mind. I was already NOT in a good mood. But Megan, our friend Martell, and I were working out with Kevin, so I was ready for things to turn around. Did they? Nope. Once again, I don't like when people are better than me at things. I don't know what it is, I'm just really competitive. So after deciding what we were working on (it was supposed to be a back day for me, but the other 2 had just worked that out yesterday), we started with bis and tris. I was last to go, and I was just feeling weak as hell compared to Megan and Martell (okay, Martell is a guy, so he's naturally gonna be stronger, right?). For their 20 x 40lb reps, I was doing 15 x 25 lb reps. It was like I just kept being put in my place. Not cool--I'm supposed to be training for this competition, kinda a big deal, and I'm struggling with weights I should be breezing through. So I left the gym
Since then, things have turned around. I mentioned my frustrations and how I felt week to my trainer and he assured me that I am getting stronger and leaner. As he said, the biggest thing is nutrition and drive and determination. And I'm pretty sure I have all 3 of those. I should have taken progress pictures before and during this journey, because I'm not very objective when it comes to assessing how far I've come. But I'm feeling hopeful again, and luckily this was just a momentary frustration rather than a setback.
I'm working out on my own for the weekend and I'm itching to try a kickboxing class, so I'll keep you posted with if I find one and how it goes!