Thursday, April 18, 2013

That Off Feeling

It must have started with the horrific news about the Boston Marathon bombings on Monday, but I've been feeling super off this week. Such tragic events--my heart goes out to all those runners and their families that were affected both directly and indirectly. It takes a truly selfish person to attempt to take away the security that running provides to many. I know for me, when I run alone (and even when I run with a partner), it's a time for self-reflection. It's a time to put my daily stresses to the pavement and forget about the frustrations of reality. What I really love is how the entire fitness community has come together to support each other. Whether or not you're a runner, whether or not you run 2.62 or 26.2 miles, we stand united in our commonality and our hope to restore the placidity that exercise provides.


Like I mentioned earlier, I haven't really been feeling myself this week. I almost feel torn between experiencing this stage of life, enjoying the Springtime and all the festivities there are in Charlottesville; and continuing toward my fitness goal of getting on stage and strutting my stuff (literally). I know, it's early in the game to have these conflicting thoughts, but I know what it's stemming from. If you've been a long-time follower, then you know that the first two years of my blog I was either: a. finishing college, or b. job-hunting while maintaining a part-time job. It was easier to go all-in with the pursuit of my goal because I was poor. Seriously though, I didn't have any extra money (or not much) after paying living expenses and the occasional self-purchase. Going out to socialize was few and far between if it meant doling out money because I just didn't have it. And that was ultimately why I never stepped on stage back in the day.

For the first time in my life, I have financial freedom. Or seemingly close to it. I've paid off all my credit card debt (which really was minimal compared to others my age), I'm slowly but surely paying for my education no thanks to FedLoan Servicing, AND my 401k is growing in leaps and bounds thanks to my super generous company. But even though I definitely have the means to accomplish this goal and I was dead-set on doing so, I kind of just want to live life.

I've been fortunate enough to meet some GREAT new friends in Charlottesville, including the lovely Claire over at Let's Go on a Living Spree, who shares my interests of taking pictures at every possible inopportune moment and everything fitness. She is to running as I am to gymming it up. Yes, that is now a phrase. But she is a much better blogger and runner than me. Click on over to her blog, because all of the pictures that my post is missing so far are residing on her page. Once again a testament to her being a better blogger :-)

So I guess I need to find a balance between real life and gym life. I've certainly been having a couple unscheduled cheats this past week. Kevin, if you're reading this, that is a complete lie and I've been 100% on par nutritionally... I haven't been waking up at my 5:05am alarm. And yet, just last week I was really happy with the progress I was making, as evidenced by the following crappy picture.
Pre-5am swim

So someone please excuse my 5-shades paler feet and explain what the hell is wrong with me?! Also excuse my language...and the quality of those photos. Surprisingly, there is very little sunlight at 5:05am. And yes, those 5 minutes make all the difference.

Luckily, I'm meeting with Kevin on Sunday, so I'm thinking a mental ass-kicking will put me back on track. Yet in the back of my mind, I'm really enjoying this:
Wine festival shenanigans classiness
Must. Find. Balance.

The reintroduction of my old friend might help...

Call me crazy, but the sound of whey shakes with a little bit of nut butter sounds infinitely better than cold egg whites with full-fat cheese eaten on the road.

Cross your fingers for me, and send me a dose of motivation!

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