Friday, April 13, 2012

Catching up

Yesterday, I just was not able to blog. It was a long day spent at work, then hitting up the gym and helping Megan pack for a wedding weekend away before conking out for the night. So let me dedicate this post to yesterday's HAWMC prompt involving stream of consciousness. I'm not too fond of the phrase that starts this prompt: "This morning, when I look in the mirror..." because there are a lot of thoughts that come up when I look in the mirror. After all, I do work in retail (currently).

It's not just about what I'm wearing when I catch my reflection. I always have my eye on something--does my hair look right? Am I getting a bit puffy? Do I look as tired as I feel? Boy do I look very Jewish (although I'm Catholic). The mirror is more of a reminder of insecurities for me, because as I've mentioned before, I'm not very objective when it comes to my body. I could look like a fitness model in one of those magazines like Shape or Self or Women's Health, and yet I would still feel like I have something to improve on. I guess you can say it's a flaw of mine. Although, is it really that bad to continually want to improve yourself, your health, your well-being?

I'm sure that somewhere along the line, there's some sort of deep-seated cause for my aversion to mirrors or not. Well, not so much of an aversion as a continual nitpicking of the image I see before me. I have many characteristics of that Type A personality--perfectionism, OCD organization, etc. I've been that way for as long as I can remember, but it isn't necessarily a downfall. I'm not sure there will ever come a day when I'm 100% pleased with my reflection, but that's not to say that I'm displeased. Far from it. I'd much rather have a mirror tell show me how my body is changing rather than some stupid number on a scale, though!

Anyway, I started off this post stating that I'm not fond of the prompt, and it's because I don't think it really allows for a true stream of consciousness. My stream of consciousness is my general smorgasbord of a post where I slop together a bit of everything and call it real writing. It's where I go from puppies to running to what pajama bottoms I'm wearing (grey & pink plaid, if you really want to know) to what food I ran out of (eggs and chicken). It's the retelling of odd encounters I had at work or how my first workout back on a track was just how I remembered many track days--terrible to run through but oh so rewarding? helpful. Stream of consciousness if from A to Z to M to F to R to... you tell me! But I guess this gives you a taste of both versions.

When you look in the mirror, what are your initial thoughts? Stream of consciousness...what does it mean to you?

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