|One last photo from graduation--I do LOVE my dress :)|
Back to my workout yesterday, as I previously mentioned, I have noticed results on a weekly (biweekly?) basis, but on a daily basis, I look in the mirror and I don't really like what I see. Yes, I'm quite positive that I have body image issues, but I cannot really help that right now. I don't do anything to harm myself, like drastically cutting calories, so I can honestly say that I'm healthy. Especially this past weekend and the beginning of the week, I was very nervous because I hadn't eaten 100% according to plan. That being said, I'm pretty sure I was under in intake of all my macro-nutrients, so it was probably not that detrimental. But I still felt the mental repercussions, feeling guilty about eating "normal" meals (or, in Monday's case, a protein bar). It's not that I saw some negative results this week, but I just felt off, and it caused me to see all the flaws and all that
That being said, it was such a confidence boost when Pleasants said that I'm coming along really well. Starting so see some lines and cuts in places that weren't so defined before. I've got some major guns popping up, more definition in my chest, legs getting more muscular. I think my legs are my biggest body image issue. To me they just look BULKY. They look like they could use their own diet, haha. I know this is completely absurd, and I'm trying to stay away from that mentality, and I'm just being crazy, right? Right. It was nice to get Pleasants opinion, because he sees me once a week. I see me every day. He's more objective. I'm more subjective.
Haha, that reminds me: he asked if my clothes were fitting differently, to which I responded, "Yeah, I don't have anything that fits!" Which got us talking about how I have leaned down a lot and even with this past rough weekend/start to the week, I'm still getting results, so we are not changing anything until the results stop. And of course, I responded to this, "Well, whenever you see me, I'm always wearing hugely baggy clothes because I can't fill anything out anymore, so it must seem more drastic to you!" It is kind of funny though--I work in a clothing store, and I can't really fit into much there. Some tops, yes, but now even the extra-smalls are too big, and petites are too short. And I'm too small for the size 0s, and they don't carry petite-sized shorts. That, plus I kind of refuse to go elsewhere to buy clothes because my mentality is always "I could get this half-price if it was at Loft."I want to say that I don't need to be buying clothes anyway since I'm only going to shrink further, but I do need to be styled for work. This poses a problem, to which my answer is currently: Dresses! Seriously, they are lifesavers! Even my skirts are too big. I just had to consign some pieces of clothing that I bought only a couple months ago. But I figure it's better to get a return of money than to let them sit, unworn, in my closet for months and months.
Ultimately, I am pleased with my progress. I just have to take a step back
|Pretty much settled in, right?|
|The closet is a LOT bigger than it looks--|
the doors aren't open fully!
|Where the magic happens (on the blog, silly!)|
I need something for this wall, but am waiting til I get a new desk.