Monday, April 18, 2011

Better than Homework

Updating my blog is always better than doing my homework in my opinion. In this case, I have a 3-4 page paper for which I'm supposed to research the ownership behind a news article--any news article--in order to demonstrate my knowledge of political economy (or something like that). Sigh. I haven't even started. Instead, I've gone to Target to return some items, cooked, worked out at the gym, and now simultaneously watching trashy CW shows and writing this.

I'm just gonna come out and say I need to stop calling if it's going to be a good or bad day. It always goes against what I say. Not that today was a bad day, but it just didn't go as I planned and now I'm just frustrated. Which is possibly why I'm procrastinating on that darn paper or more likely just because I don't feel like doing it. And I'm eating carbs at 9pm--granted it's SmartPop popcorn, but it's still BAD. I'm falsely justifying it by saying that it's fuel for this paper I need to write tonight. My poor attitude is somewhat related to the uncertainty I mentioned on Friday, and I don't even know what to think of it. I thought I would have my answer today, but I'm still left hanging. I really wish I could say more right now, because I know that you lovely fellow bloggers will be here to support me, but I don't want to say anything if nothing changes for the worse.

But enough of that, I won't let this get to me--with time I'll figure it out. On to other topics. Saturday morning I was on the treadmill at the gym, and it was like I had a flashback. I was back in high school, a senior, racing around my school's track. And I missed it. Back then (in 2007), I enjoyed running--track and cross country--everything about them was just a part of me. It was second nature. Yes, there were the days that I dreaded going to practice, and there were (rarely) the days that I skipped didn't make it to practice, but at the end of the day--or more like the end of the season--I looked back and was not only proud of the time I put in, but I was happy to be so passionate about something.

My coach & I at one of the indoor meets
Eventually running went by the wayside and was replaced with an occasional trip to the gym at UVa. Looking back, I wish I had kept with it. But I had let my ego and my pride get the best of me during my last season of indoor track back in high school when my coach cut my event from the regional meet because all the other girls in my relay had other events and he didn't want to wear them out. It made me feel expendable and he made it clear who was more important. Now that I think about it, it was more than that--I had drastically improved my speed and endurance between my junior and senior year of high school. I had spend the summer in San Antonio and while I was there I took a running camp with my cousin. More so than that, I was active every day, multiple times a day. So it was only natural that I improved. And yet, when it came time for the awards banquet and MVP and Coach's Award were announced, I was overlooked for a girl that constantly skipped practices. Yes, her times were better than me, but I always came in right after her (out of the girls on my team), and I was constantly the deciding factor for our team winning the meets (for the better). In between all this, I told my coach that I wanted to run here at UVa, and all he said was that I would have to try out as a walk-on. However, he was perfectly fine pointing out scouts to other girls who had no interest in running in college. Needless to say, I was more than fed up.
Oh how I miss XC meets!

One day during the spring outdoor track season, a couple weeks after having completed the Shamrock 1/2 Marathon (my 1st one!), I just decided not to go back. I didn't tell my coach, I just stopped going. I sincerely wish I would have talked to my coach about my frustrations, though I don't think it would have helped. But it would have been more mature than just leaving my team high and dry, and for that I definitely owed them an apology. By keeping my frustrations to myself, I made running a chore instead of a passion. As the months between high school and college passed, I found myself running less and less. I tried one practice for Club Cross Country when I got to UVa, but it was too hard, especially since Virginia Beach is flat. I didn't go back.

Training for this competition has brought a lot of memories back to me, because I live for competition. I used to LOVE road races--5Ks, the 1/2 marathon, etc. Now? I would be ashamed of my time. I don't run 8-10 miles at a time and I don't have a team to pace with. However, I do want to get back into it. And luckily the figure competition has forced me to since running is the best form of cardio (in my opinion). I want running back in my life just as I want competition back in it. I can't go through a single workout without creating some sort of challenge for myself--which is why my cardio plans never go as planned. I try to see how far I can push myself to prove my strength (or endurance). Slowly but surely, I'm coming back!

My name is Liz Kurland, and you can catch me on the stage on June 12th! Until then, I will be running the roads of Charlottesville and the treadmills of Gold's. :)

P.S. My friend Liz (same name, different gal) is biking the US for MS this summer! She's AMAZING, so if you're into biking (or just like to see some beautiful VA scenery via her blog), check her out!!


  1. Ugh... it's such a shame that coaches really can completely BREAK an experience. But you know what? The best thing you can do is get back into it & find your love for running DESPITE this $*@)#@#*%&@(#)*'s attitude & behavior! SOTHERE.